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How to Know if She is the One, Part 3 |
Here is a scenario that we can explore that will give you an idea as to whether or not the woman that you are dating is really for you. After dating, you've successfully reached the liking stage, and you're going into the pre-love stage. But suddenly you discover that the woman you're dating is emotionally unavailable due to other priorities in her life. The worst thing you can do is get angry, upset and frustrated. You must realize you're in a dilemma with her. No matter how hard you try, she will not give up whatever stands in the way of going deeper and further into your relationship. You know deep down inside that she likes you as a friend, and that's all it will ever be. Even if you want more out of the relationship, you must logically and honestly accept the fact that what you're looking for in a relationship is not going to be with her. You have to be man enough to consult with her and tell her that you respect her decisions. You really want to be more than friends, but you know this can never be. You should reach a mutual agreement to see
each other as friends, or go your separate ways.
Using this approach shows her that you're a mature adult. She might introduce you to a friend who would want to have a loving relationship with a great guy. She could agree to let you date other people, and see her on an occasional basis, as a platonic friend. As painful as this is, you must act accordingly. Harsh as it may seem, this is life, and we must accept it.
On the other hand, there is a possibility that while dating your woman friend, you suddenly meet someone new, to whom you're highly attracted. You go back to the basics. You ask her to get together for a cup of coffee. Start all over from the beginning. But this time, you have a track record of dating a woman. First, assure her that you appreciate the opportunity to be with her. Tell her it is unfortunate that you don't know her, but you really need someone to talk to. You hope that she doesn't mind. If she says she does mind, and she has something to do, then play it by ear. Either she really has something to do at that moment, or she has other priorities that interest her more. This is a determination you have to make. If she agrees see you at another time, fine. And if you feel interested in her, set up another time to see her. If she shrugs you off and makes excuses, give her a polite "Good-bye." Go your separate ways and approach someone else. The key at this point is for a woman to be interested in your distress, interested enough to listen to your problems, and come to your rescue. It's kind of like the warrior princess in shining armor, who is going to sweep you off your feet.
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